Promise of a newly appointed coach of a struggling third
division team: "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
...should move to London and set up shop in the West End's theatre district.
You can see the reviews now: A wonderful romp; Farce of the highest quality;
What a hoot!
New spokesman for Tottenham Hotspur
Will the fall of Saddam Hussein's regime, Iraqi Information
Minister Mohammed Saeed Sahhaf has been appointed the new spokesman for
Tottenham Hotspur. Here are excerpts from his first press briefing in
his new roles.
"We are enjoying a tremendous season. We look forward to hoisting
the Premiership trophy this year as we continue to crush our foes."
"We are currently in the process of major renovations to our front
office so that we will be able to accommodate the 15-20 trophies we will
win over the next five years."
"Our players our the strongest, most skilled in the world. Their
biggest fear is falling asleep during matches as they are bored by the
lack of competition."
"Our manager is a tactical genius and will make people forget the
names Busby, Shankly, Chapman and Clough."
"Our youth development program is the best in the world. We have
an under-11 team that would win Division 1 right now."
"Spurs fans are the most knowledgeable, most intelligent fans in
Europe. Any one of them could step in and coach in the Premiership today."
"Our victories over our rival Arsenal will be swift and merciless.
We will beat them by double-digit scores. The referees will call the games
at halftime in an effort to save the dignity of the other team."
What has Alex Ferguson and The Bee Gee's got in common?
Alex Ferguson can stil play 'Giggs'
Come in number 10....
After argentina's attempt to retire diego maradonna's number
10 shirt was rejected by FIFA, the Argentinian manager has allocated the
shirt to the third goalkeeper, meaning that the argentine number 10 will
be allowed to use his hands.
No change there then.
Ulrika Jonson was caught masturbating with a mobile phone the other day...
Not the first time she's had an Eriksson up her then! - Nice one David!
'Is This Why England Squad Announcement
Q: What is the difference between Everton FC and Foot And Mouth?
A: Foot And Mouth made it to Europe!!!!!!!
At the end of the day, football means not having to go to
Sainsburys on Saturday.
Q.Who are the most indispensable men in international soccer
A.The riot police.
A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and
the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking
for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a
cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the
distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the
European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Forest. BR
think they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.
Our club manager won't stand for any nonsense. Last Saturday
he caught a couple of fans climbing over the stadium wall. He was furious.
He grabbed them by the collars and said, "Now you just get back in
there and watch the game till it finishes."
Q: How could you kill a Brentford fan when he's drinking?
A: Slam the toilet seat on his head.