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Your bumper sticker reads: "One more Whore and We
Get Gore."
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The nativity scene you set up in your yard at Christmas
includes two pink flamingos and baby Jesus lying in a painted tire.
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Most of your teeth are on a chain around your neck.
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You hunt from your bedroom window.
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Your dad walks you to school because you're in the
same grade.
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You refrigerate your food stamps.
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You use a 10 penny nail to pick your teeth after a
night of road kill.
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You have ever dressed your child as a "Snot-rag" for
Halloween.
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Your idea of a loaded dishwasher is getting your wife
drunk. If you see a sign that says "Say no to crack"...and it
reminds you to hike up your jeans.
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You and your spouse get divorced and you are still
relatives.
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You go to your local ice cream store and order Copenhagen
"sprinkles" on your cone.
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You know instinctively that red wine goes with opossum.
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You're always looking to find your Mother-in-Law's
picture on the back of a milk carton!
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The officer that just pulled you over asks if "you
have any I.D."...and you respond "About whut?"
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You take a beer to a job interview.
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You are caught roll'n your trailer down the street
to jump start the heater.
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When you finish eatin' your bologna you use the rind
for dental floss.
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You go to Goodwill to meet women.
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You and your friends are putting an engine in a pickup,
drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the
best food!
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