Category	odds and sods
Subcategory	American jokes

• 44 Fun Elevator Activities
• Declaration Of Independence Reply
• Driving rules
• Fred Dingaling
• Legal quotes
• Men's room
• Nixon And Clinton
• Rectum stretcher
• The ant and the grasshopper
• The TRUE story of creation...(author unknown)
• Top Ten Signs You Smoke Too Much
• Top ten signs your co-worker is a hacker
• Truth In Politics
• You MAY be a Redneck If...
• Rejected US Army Slogans

Christmas in Washington

The Supreme Court ruled there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington,DC this Christmas. This isn't for any religious or constitutional reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men or a virgin in the nation's capitol. There was no problem however finding enough asses to fill the stable

Q: What do you call the sweat produced when two rednecks are having sex?
A: Relative humidity.

Q: What do you call a Jamaiccan proctologist?
A: Pok-e-mon

Q. How do you castrate a redneck?
A. You kick his sister in the jaw!

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and announced that his wife had just produced a typical Texas baby, weighing a whopping twenty pounds.

"WOW!" was the response from everyone at the bar.

Two weeks later the Texan returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth? How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "10 pounds."

The bartender said, "What!" I know that babies lose some weight after birth, but ten pounds? He did weigh twenty pounds, didn't he? What happened?"

The proud Texas father said, "Just had him circumcised!"

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

Why do they use artificial turf in Iowa stadiums?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing!

Government Verbosity

Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
The Lord's prayer: 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.
U.S. Government regulations on cabbage sales: 26,911 words.

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in 0 gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.