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Michael Jackson Jokes

Message from Iraq

"According to a Gallup poll, 17% of those asked still have a favorable opinion of Michael Jackson. That may not sound like much, but it's still more than any of the Democratic candidates running for president." —Jay Leno

The saddest part of this Michael Jackson scandal is that all of this could have been avoided if he just stuck to grabbing his own crotch." —Craig Kilborn

"Michael says he is going to fight these charges tooth and nail — because those are the only real body parts he has left." —Jay Leno

Q. What is worse than Michael Jackson putting your kids to bed?
A. Ian Huntley bathing them.
Thanks - Stewart

What is the difference between acne and Micheal Jackson?
Acne doesn't "come" on your face until you are 13.
Thanks - David

12 Year Old Boy Sues Michael Jackson For Not Molesting Him

The saddest part of this Michael Jackson scandal is that all of this could have been avoided if he just stuck to grabbing his own crotch." —Craig Kilborn

" I guess they got Michael on that new law — 3 tykes and you're out." —Jay Leno

Michael Jackson donates to children in need...

Michael Jackson sponsors children in need..
Great one Pete!

Los Angeles police have raided Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch this
afternoon . It is being reported that they found Class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his bathroom...and Class 4C in his bedroom.

"Earlier today, police raided the Neverland ranch. Michael Jackson was so upset he dangled himself over a balcony." —Craig Kilborn

Michael Jackson does an OJ...

MJ on the run

Q - Have you heard that Michael Jackson has a date for the trial?
A - His name is Jammie

Michael Jackson surrendered to police and they fingerprinted him, "Afterwards police said Jackson's fingers looked black for the first time in fifteen years."

Q: What does Michael have in common with NASA?
A: It's been 25 years since his first moon landing.

It was reported the other day that Michael Jackson wants to be one of the first civilians to travel into space.
A spokesperson for NASA said, "We're fine with the idea but the only problem is Jackson insists on coming back".

Did you hear? The French don't believe Michael Jackson had plastic surgery on his nose. They want more evidence!

Surgery? Child abuse? Never Michael is the most normal person on this planet.


Matthew Kelly and Michael Jackson have made a new TV show...
"Stars in Your Arse"

Thanks to David

The Jackson Family trip to Spain

Q: What is odd about Micheal Jackson dangling a baby over a balcony?
A: He normally tosses them off

Q: Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby over a balcony?
A: Because he overheard his wife asking someone to drop the children off a few stories.

>Shortly after Michael Jackson's 'baby on the balcony' incident....

MJ Fan:- "Michael Jackson dangled a kid over a balcony today..."
Non-MJ Fan:- "Strange, he normally tosses them off."

So Michael Jackson held his kid out above a crowd from the fire escape....
"What was he trying to do?!" "One-up Eric Clapton."

After Michael Jackson's wife had her baby, Michael asked her how long it would be before he could have sex.
She replied " For fuxs sake , let the little bastard start walking first !!!!! "

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?
A: "Feel the World."

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song?
A: "Don't let your son go down on me."

How doe MJ pick his nose?
With a catalog.

What's the difference between MJ and a grocery bag?
One's white, made from plastic, and harmful to children, the other you carry your groceries in.

How do we know MJ is guilty?
Because he's been fingered by several children.

How do you know when it's bedtime at Neverland?
When the big hand is on the little hand.

What is MJ's new book called?
The Ins & Outs of Child Rearing.

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
A. Got 2 fives for a 10?

When is it bedtime at Neverland Ranch?
When the big hand is on the little hand.

Why does MJ want to be a jockey?
Because he heard they ride 3 year olds.

What's the hardest stain to get out of little boy's underpants?
MJ's make-up.

Michael Jackson's new boob job

Remember it could always be worse...

Michael Jackson Unmasked

See what Wacko Jacko spends his time reading in Neverland.

America is the only country where a poor black boy can grow up to be a beautiful rich white woman

Have you heard Michael Jackson is coming out with a new album?
It's called "Sick."

Why did Michael Jackson wear a glove?
So he wouldn't leave fingerprints on the kids.

Michael Jackson went out on the front porch to get the newspaper so he could read the latest about himself. The door closed and locked behind him, so he had to use the doorbell. His mother opened the door and looked out. After an exchange of words, she called to her husband, "There's a white woman with a monkey on the front porch. Claims she's our son."

He told you he was "Off the Wall", that he was a "Thriller", that he was "Bad" and that he was "Dangerous". Next album will be called "Don't say I didn't warn you."

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