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Stunning Report from Beckingham Palace

This name-dropping girl, who works with a mate of mine from college, went to David Beckham's garden party at the weekend. This is her story - which she sent to her colleagues this morning. One of Heath's mates has already sent a funny reply - which is underneath...

Well guys,

I am sure you have been eagerly awaiting this email, well now here it is! Oh what a day and night I had yesterday at Posh & Becks party!! Got picked up at 3pm and we arrived at Beckingham Palace at 3.45 pm. Got dropped off at this big canape at the back of their house, (the outside of the house was stunning).

We had to walk down this path way to get to the big Marquee where
everyone was and they had all these young people doing these marshal arts moves in the bushes and also had these people dressed up as trees so if you did not see them, they came out at you.

As we walked into the tent there he was, David Beckham. He came straight over to us and said hello and chatted to us for a while. All I can say is Beautiful!!! Elton was there also and Victoria was walking around somewhere. All three of them were greeting people as they came in and thanking them for coming to their party!

David then told us to get a drink and he would see us later (you bet we will!!). As we walked into the first marquee Louise was there with Jamie Rednapp and we chatted for a bit as I worked with her, when she was in Eternal and we hopefully will be working together again on her next project. Posh's mum was also talking with us and she was lovely. As we moved round we went to say hello to Emma Forbes and Natalie Imbruglia (beautiful) and chatted for a bit.

There was Dwight York behind me and the Dream Team DJs from Kiss there too together with Misteeq and a couple of the So Solid Crew boys that they go out with. Said hello to all of them and went to the ladies. Walking through to the ladies met up with Greg Rosetski and his wife and Jamie and Jools Oliver with their baby and chatted to them for a little bit, eventually went to the toilet and who was in there? no other than Joan Collins!! I could not go to the toilet I was so besides myself and had a little chat with Joan which was so surreal!!

Everyone was called into dinner which was a massive marquee with a
massive stage at the end, it looked incredible which only the pictures in OK will show as I can't really tell you how it was. Russell Watson was singing as we sat down. On the table was Martin Collins and his girlfriend and sitting next to me was meant to be Sean Bean but he did not turn up till late so he never sat down with us (shame!!).

The food was lovely and was all Japanese to go in the theme of the night. If you want to see the menu just ask as I have brought it back with me. During dinner they had 4 classical violinist playing for us and a pianist. After the main course they had Japanese artists showing us marital arts moves and entertaining us just before dessert.

David and Victoria worked their way round the room and came over to say hello. She wore this black number which looked like rubber but it was leather and she is tiny. David wore this Japanese dress thing but looked incredible in it!! Victoria was talking to use about the pregnancy and was saying that she had to lie on the bed and squeeze into her dress because she was pregnant an I told her that I have to do that too and I am not even pregnant!! (you had to be there as it was quite funny!!!)

Then David got up on stage and said a few words about the charity which they were raising money for and was brilliant, he is soooo lovely and gave a present to Victoria which she did not know about to say thanks for organizing this party and at 6 1/2 months pregnant! Then they showed a pledge video.

After that Ant & Dec were called up to star the auction off, then Graham Norton got up and did the rest, he was hysterical and was brilliant at it! Again all the prizes are in my little brochure which I brought home. Then after that the football players had to leave as they were on a
curfew.

Margheritta and I went around the room and met up with Graham Norton, Ant & Dec and their partners. I spoke to Mick Hucknell as I have worked with him in the past, Greig Rosetski and his lovely wife we were talking to most of the night, Faye from Steps, Goldie and a few others.

The day and night was just fantastic, everywhere you looked there were stars. I could not control myself it was just overwhelming.

There was all different mixes of dress. The men looked great as most of them were in White tie and it looked really classy and the women were all in different outfits. Black dresses, red, pink, green dresses and I was in a White trouser suit which looked lovely and a lovely necklass. There were a few diamond numbers but all in all everyone looked lovely but you did not feel out of place as there were not that many skinny models there and everyone was average.

The people who were there were as follows:-

Elton John & David
Joan Collins
Greg Rosezki & Lucy
Faye Tozier
Natalie Imbruglia
David Seamon
Ant & Dec
Nick Faldo
Mike Hucknell
Teddy Sherringham
Nicky Clarke
Gary Neville
Dwight York
Lousie & Jamie Rednapp
Dale Winton
Misteeq
Gary Linaker
George Best
Dane Bowers
Ruud Hullet
David Frost
Cilla Black
Grahem Norton
Lousie Beckham
Dennis Wise
Jamie and Jools Oliver
Gordon Ramsey
David James
The Dream Team DJs
Lulu
Sean Bean
Goldie
Sven Erikson
Emma Bunton
Angus Deaton
Shazney Lewis
Mahamed Al Fayed
Jodi Kidd
Russell Watson
Des Lynam
Emma Forbes
Lee Evens
Van Istaroy (sorry don't know how to spell it)
Ray Winston
Boy George
Beverley Knight
chris Eubank
Sir Geoff Hurst
Bobby Charlton
Bob Wilson
Richard Branson
Alexander McQueen
Vivianne Westward

And I am sure there were more, but I just can't remember, it was just incredible!! We left about 10.00 pm and picked up our goody bags full of presents from Mac Cosmetics, Georgeo Armani, Aspreys, Nicky Clarke, Mulberry, Shiseido, Taittinger, Bulgari, Police, Blue Dragon, Royal Worcester, The Body Shop, Hugo Boss, Adidas and Dermalogica. All I can say is I am going to be looking and smelling great for a while!! Came home last night and just screamed to my mum on the phone just to let go of the excitement which I had cought up in my body all night.

One of the best nights of my life so far!!

Pictures, well I don't think I was in any of them and not sure about the TV Camera but I am sure I will be looking out for me when it gets shown!

Love
Jo

------

The reply...


Well Guys,

I'm sure you all want to here about my fabolous wekend, so hear it is.

Oh what a day and night I had in Tufnell Park!

Got picked up by minicab at 3.30pm to take me to the local Sainsberrys, got dropped off in the car park at the back - oh the lovely weeds and rubish, it was quite a site (the front of the store was spendid, all decked out in oirange!)

I had to walk amongst trolleys to get in - oh the larks - and there were
bins disguised as bins, which stunk of p- as you walked past, and if you didn't see them, you'd trip up over them!

As I walked into the store, there he was.....well, he looked a bit like
David Beckham, but in fact it was Terry Ordhimshaw from Camden, who works on the till - but he came strate over to me and said hello - ugly as absolute f-! Bill from the bacon counter and Louise the lav cleaner were also arouind, and they thanked me for shoping at there store!

The store was full of funny people in all diferent stiles of dress - I was wearing a white sweatshirt and grey combat pants, and if I do say so meself, looked lovely, togehter with a cap and fabo necklass, it reallybrought out the colour of my eyes. Everyone looked commonand so i did not feel out of place, as in fact I'm an ugly dog - and the whole place was decididly average.

Anyway, other peeple who were their:

Stinky the local Big Issue Seller Gladys the mad granny, who's trolley always trips you up Quentin the middle class dad complete with 2 annoying bourgeois kids, buying Olives A mad goth looking girl

I'm sure there were many more - but it was just so incredably overwelming in there!!!!

I left about 4.30pm picking up my goodie bag of frozen chicken, 2 veg and 3 litres of cider, all I can say is that I'm going to be pissed for a wile!

As for pictures, well who nose - I may be on the security camera as i did half inch a Sara lee gateaux, can't wait for crimewatch!

The best day of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I disappeared up my own butt and lost all ability to spell

 

"Beckham has done his level best to disfigure himself beyond repair. Shaven headed and frowning, with his beautiful body scribbled all over with bad art and worse lettering." (Germaine Greer)


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