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odds and sods

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silly kids jokes

Q: Were you long in the hospital ?
A: No, I was the same size that I am now !

Q: What has 4 wheels and flys?
A: A garbage truck.

Q: Why don't sharks eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny.

Q: Did you hear about the stupid tap dancer ?
A: He fell in the sink !

Q: Why did the clock get sick ?
A: It was run down !

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show everyone that he wasn't a chicken.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn't have the guts.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He didn't have anyBODY to go with.

Q: What button won't you find in a tailors shop ?
A: Belly button !

Q: How did the farmer fix his jeans?
A: With a cabbage patch!

Q: Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Do you have any invisible ink?
Certainly sir. What colour?

Q: Why did the child study in the airplane?
A: He wanted a higher education!

Q: Who makes suits and eats spinach ?
A: Popeye the Tailorman !

Q: What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
A: Cliff !

Q: Where does the colonel keep his armies?
A: In his sleevies!

Q: What travels all around the world, but never leaves it's corner.
A: A Postage Stamp!

Q: How did the telephones get married ?
A: In a double ring ceremony !

Q: What did one flea say to the other flea?
A: Should we walk or take a dog?

Q: What gets wetter as it dries?
A: A towel!

A noise woke me up this morning.
What was that ?
The crack of dawn !

Q: What does one star say to another star when they meet ?
A: Glad to meteor !

Q: Where do eskimos keep their money?
A: Snow banks !

Q: Waiter, this soup tastes funny ?
A: Then why aren't you laughing !

Q: Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
A: Use a pencil ‘till I get there

These 2 atoms were walking around when one atom says to the other one, "hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other atom says "are you sure?"
He replies "yes, I'm positive"

 

 

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