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Category computer jokes

Drug dealers and software developers - a comparison

Drug Dealers

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  • Refer to their clients as "users".
  • "The first one's free!"
  • Have important Asian connections.
  • Strange jargon:
    "Stick"
    "Rock"
    "Wrap"
    "E"
    "Stash"
    "Drive-by"
    "Hit (LSD)"
    "Source"
    "The Pigs"
  • Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
  • Clients really like your stuff when it works.When it doesn't work they want to kill you.
  • Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent product.
  • Often seen in the company of pimps, hustlers and low-lifes
  • When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive
  • A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.
  • Product causes unhealthy addictions.
  • Do your job well and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.

Software Developers

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  • Refer to their clients as "users".
  • "Download a free trial version..."
  • Have important Asian connections.
  • Strange jargon: "SCSI"
    "RTFM"
    "Packet"
    "C"
    "Cache"
    "CTRL ALT DEL"
    "Hit (WWW)"
    "Source-code"
    "Microsoft"
  • Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
  • Clients really like your stuff when it works.When it doesn't work they want to kill you.
  • Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent products.
  • Often seen in the company of marketing people, venture capitalists and fund managers.
  • When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive
  • A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.
  • DOOM, Quake, SimCity, Duke Nukem 3D...
  • Damn! DAMN!!!
 

 



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