New Words for 2000

BLAMESTORMING:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

CHAINSAW CONSULTANT:
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

CUBE FARM:
An office filled with cubicles.

IDEA HAMSTERS:
People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

MOUSE POTATO:
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

TOURISTS:
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious workers in the office; the rest were just tourists."

XEROX SUBSIDY:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ASSMOSIS:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

FLIGHT RISK:
Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.

UNINSTALLED:
Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an Uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance. *(Syn:decruitment.)

CLM (Career Limiting Move):
Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.