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Category bloke jokes
Subcategory jokes about women

PMS Light Bulb Joke

How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.

But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE RUBBISH!!

IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF RUBBISH THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

I'm sorry... what did you ask me?

What PMS Means


Pass My Shotgun
Psychotic Mood Shift
Perpetual Munching Spree
Puffy Mid-Section
People Make Me Sick
Provide Me with Sweets
Pardon My Sobbing
Pimples May Surface
Pass My Sweatpants
Plainly; Men Suck
Pack My Stuff
Permanent Menstrual Syndrome

We all know that tampons are spongey
And oftentimes get rather grungy
But why they have strings
Among other things
Is so that the crabs can all bungee.

Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Three vampires walk into a bar. One orders a blood on the rocks. Another orders a double blood. The third simply asks for a mug of hot water. "Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender. The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "I'm making tea!"

What do you call a women with ESP and PMT?
A bitch that knows everything.

Handicraft

A man walked into a supermarket and asked an employee where the tampon isle was. The lady pointed it out and the man started walking toward it. A few minutes later the man returned with cotton swabs and string. The employee said to the man, "I thought you needed tampons?"

The man simply said, "I sent my wife to get me some cigarettes yesterday and she came home with the tabacco and the paper. I had to roll my own. Today she sent me for tampons so she get's to roll her own."



Q: Why can you never trust a woman?
A: How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and does not die?


 

 


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