Category	computer jokes
Subcategory	jokes about computer viruses

Virus warning (3)

Be careful- these are following in the wake of the 'I Love You' virus and are potentially damaging:

The Manchester United virus:
Your PC develops a disorder whereby the memory forgets everything before 1993.

The Man United shirt virus:
This one is especially hard to detect as it changes its format every 3 months.

The Schmeichel virus:
Your PC develops a hideous, large red dot in the middle of the screen.

The David Beckham virus:
The lights on your PC are all on but nothing works.

The Roy Keane virus:
Throws you out of Windows.

The Alex Ferguson virus:
Your PC develops a continuous whining noise.

The Andy Cole virus:
Your PC is unable to get anything into the inbox

The Massimo Taibi virus:
You just can't save anything.

The Ryan Giggs virus:
Makes your computer think it's better than it actually is.

These are less virulent, but still wise to keep an eye on them:

The Ian Walker virus:
Your PC will act as though it will save something, but let you down at the last minute.

The David Ginola virus:
Computer pretends to go down, but then boots back up and is OK.

The Stan Collymore virus:
Luckily this one doesn't actually work, but sometimes boots up some Swedish computers.

The Glenn Hoddle virus:
Disables your PC, blames it all on its previous life as a calculator.

The Tony Adams/Rio Ferdinand virus:
All drive privileges lost.

The Bradford City virus:
Makes you think it will go down but presses escape at the last minute.