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Alternate Guinness Book of Records... Men

Men Expletives:
On 9th June 1996, Mr. Harold Brayson (GB) struck his thumb with a stonemason's mallet whilst breaking concrete in his back yard in Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire. He went on to swear for 14min 7sec without stopping once or repeating a swear word. He later attempted to better this feat on BBC TV's Record Breakers programme by dropping a car battery on his foot. It ended in failure when he repeated the word 'bastard' after 12mins 58secs.

Holiday Gymnastics:
The greatest number of press-ups done in front of some girls on a beach is 6 by Wayne Fletcher (GB) whilst on holiday in San Antonio, Ibiza on 19th August 1988. The girls went off with a waiter.

Car Customisation:
Judged as a proportion of the overall value of the car, the accessories fitted to the Mark 2 Escort of Wayne Fletcher (GB) add up to the world's most expensive car customisation project at 105761%. Between 8th March 1986 and 22nd September 1996, Fletcher has spent a grand total of 63,456.99 at the Stockport branch of Halfords in attempt to attract girls to his vehicle. His fruitless purchases include a Paddy Hopkirk Full Body Styling Kit (3500), 'Nightrider' style Disco Stop Lights (199), Split 45 Weber Carburettors x4 (200), Scorpion Talking Alarm, (500) and a Chromium plated Mock Twin Exhaust Extension (285). The car is currently valued at 50 to 60.

Beer Drinking:
The greatest amount of beer drunk before going to the lavatory was 25.5 litres (45 pints) of assorted weak lagers, by Mr. George Wingfield (GB) downed in various pubs in Knutsford, Cheshire between 12:15pm and 2:38pm on 22nd December 1986.

Urinating:
The longest urination delivered at one continuous scoot was one of 36 mins 24secs by Mr George Wingfield (GB) in the doorway of a newsagent's shop in Knutsford High Street on 22nd December 1986. Mr Wingfield was arrested and charged with a public order offence 17 mins into his record attempt, but arresting officers had to wait a further 19mins 24sec before taking him back to the station, where he reputedly broke the world falling downstairs' record. However, this could not be substantiated because there were apparently no witnesses.

Hottest Curry Eaten:
Many claims are made about the ferocity of curries eaten, but in the main they are difficult to substantiate. The hottest verifiable curry eaten was a XXX Hot Chicken Murg Phaal with extra chillies consumed by George Wingfield (GB) at the Bengal Tiger Restaurant, Knutsford on 23rd December 1986. The curry was reportedly so hot that between kitchen and table it spontaneously burst into flames, singeing the waiter's eyebrows.

See Alternate Guinness Book of Records... Women

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