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Category bloke jokes
Subcategory jokes about women
Alternate Guinness Book of Records... Women

Car Parking:
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19.36m, equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. E. Simpkins (GB) driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11:15am in Roper Street, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement, 8 hours 14 mins later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and the two adjoining cars, as well as shop frontage and two lampposts.

Incorrect Driving:
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 313 miles from Stranraer to Holyhead, by Dr. Julie Thorn (GB), at the wheel of a Saab 900 on 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird, but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.

Traffic Light Cosmetics:
The longest spell spent oblivious to traffic lights whilst applying make up was one of 1hr 51min 38sec by Miss J. Dobson (GB) at a road junction in the centre of Preston on the 1st August 1975. Miss Dobson, a piano teacher, beautified herself through 212 cycles of the light, creating a tailback of irate motorists stretching 28 miles towards the Lake District.

Group Toilet Visit:
The record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet simultaneously is held by 147 workers at the dept. of Social Security, Long Benton. At their annual celebration at a night-club in Newcastle upon Tyne on 12th Oct 1994, Mrs. Beryl Crabtree (GB) got up to go to the toilet and was immediately followed by 146 other female members of the party. Moving en masse, the group entered the toilet at 9:52pm and after waiting for everyone to finish, emerged 2hrs 37mins later.

See Alternate Guinness Book of Records... Men

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