Laddism Studies
GCE `A' Level Examination Paper
LADDISM STUDIES
Time allowed 3 hrs.
Attempt all questions.
If you do not know the answer to a particular question attempt to look
at someone else's paper by knocking your biro onto the floor and having
a shufty while you lean over to retrieve it.
You are allowed one visit to the toilet to look at the answers you wrote
on the wall yesterday.
After one hour, request more paper to frighten the other candidates into
thinking that you must have written loads.
Attempt to introduce the one or two facts you are reasonably sure of
into the answers to every question.
At 4.30 exactly, everybody cough to make the invigilator jump.
Male candidates: Try to avoid becoming distracted by mentally undressing
the female candidate in front of you, and wondering whether she likes
it from behind.
Section A (50%)
1. Explain why the best women's football team in the world wouldn't stand
a chance against you and ten of your mates. Include in your answer:
a) Why they are unable to kick a ball straight
b) what you'd do with them in the baths afterwards
2. Pamela Anderson's tits are plastic but look good in photographs. Compare
and contrast the relative merits of plastic and real tits for recreational
purposes.
3. It is a long established fact that fat lasses are more grateful for
it. Outline some of the reasons why this is so and explain why all feminists
are fat, ugly lesbians.
4. Write a critique of any ONE of the following films you have watched
at your mate's house while his parents were away for the weekend.
a) Sex Boat
b) Three Into One Will Go
c) King Dong
d) Speared by Zulu Lovers
e) Swedish Erotica Part VI
5. Women drivers, eh?
Discuss.
Section B (50%)
1. Describe an experiment to impress a girl by lighting a fart.
What apparatus would you require?
What risks would you run in lighting a fart and what are the benefits?
2. Name something a woman has invented.
3. On average, women live 7 years longer than men yet get their pension
5 years earlier. Explain why this isn't fair, making reference to your
lazy old granny who lived to be 100 and your poor grandpa who worked 52
years down the pit and died the day before he retired.
4. Argue heatedly over the respective merits of the Lamborghini Diablo
and the Ferrari F355 without ever having seen, let alone driven, either.
END OF PAPER
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