There were 11 women hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette.

They all decided that one person should jump because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off."

After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping….

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond GUY were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blond opened his lunch and said, "Boloney again. If I get a boloney sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.

The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too.

The blond opens his lunch, sees the boloney and jumps to his death also.

At the funeral The Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blond guy's wife. "Hey, don't look at me" she said. "He makes his own lunch!"

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs & stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and yells,

"I've heard just about enough of your stupid blonde jokes, asshole! What makes you think you can stereotype blondes that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep blond women like me from being respected at work and in my community and from reaching my full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general ...all in the name of humor!"

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up,

"You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee

Three guys, one who was unfortunate enough to be born a blond, were on a long trip going through the desert. Many miles from civilization, their car broke down. Trying to figure out what to do, they stepped out of the car and opened the hood.

"Well, " said the first guy, "there's nothing we can do to fix this car here. We're going to have to walk to the nearest town. I suggest we all carry one thing with us. I carry the cooler full of drinks in case we get thirsty."

"Good idea," said the second guy. "I'll bring the basket full of food in case we get hungry."

The third guy, the blond, went to the car door and started to take it off its hinges. "What are you doing?" asked the other two.

"Oh, I thought I'd bring the car door with us," said the blond. "If it gets too hot, I'll just roll down the window."

A blond walked into a store to buy a pair of shoes. She found a pair she liked, and went over to the salesperson and asked how much they cost.

"They go for $300," said the salesperson.

"Ouch!" said the woman. "How come they cost so much?"

"Because they are alligator shoes," said the salesperson. "We get them from only the finest alligators in the Florida everglades."

The blond thought about it for a minute, and then left the store. A couple of days later, the salesperson was going to Disneyworld. As he was driving, he happened to see the same blond standing in a swamp. She had a shotgun slung over her shoulder.

The salesperson decided to double back to see what she was up to. As he approached her, her heard a loud BANG! He rushed over to see if she was alright.

He saw her standing by five dead alligators. As he walked up, she was pulling a sixth one out of the swamp. She flipped the alligator over. "Nope," she said. "No shoes on that one either."

It hurts when I touch myself...

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "That is highly unlikely," says the doctor.

"Please, show me," So she takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. Then she pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so on and so forth.

Finally the doctor looks at her and says, "You're not really a brunette are you? You're really a blonde, right?"

She looks surprised and says, "Yes, Doctor!!" "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

One day a blond woman decided to take a trip to Hawaii. She had been planning this trip for about 10 years and was relieved when she finally stepped foot on the plane. She sat down in first class, even though her seat was in coach.

A couple minutes later a businessman walked in very tired from the hard day at work. He looked at his ticket and tried to find his seat. When he did he was surprised to see a blond woman in his seat. He approached her and said, "Excuse me, but you're in my seat."

The woman looked up at him very puzzled and said, "I'm blond, I'm not stupid, and this is my seat." Even after trying to show the woman that he was right and she was wrong, she would not move. After trying several times to get this confused woman out of his seat, he decided to tell the flight attendant.

He went up to the attendant and said, "Excuse me, sir, this blond lady won't get out of my seat." The attendant said, "Sir, I have the perfect solution. Every year we get one of these."

The attendant went over to the woman and whispered something in her ear. The woman sprinted to the back of the plane and took a seat. The businessman was amazed and asked what the hell he said to her.

The attendant turned around with a big smile on his face. "I told her that only the back of the plane was going to Hawaii."

The company psychiatrist was interviewing the young blonde. As she sat in the chair, the psychiatrist asked a series of questions to determine if she was emotionally suitable for the company.

Things were not going well for the young blonde. The psychiatrist decided to try a new approach, to give the blonde one last chance.

He asked, "if you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

A blonde walks into a bar and looks around. There is no pool table, no dart board, no juice box. She asked the bar tender,"What do you guys do for fun around here."

The bar tender picks up a bat a walks over to an ape in the coner of the room. He hits it over the head and it goes crazy. It jumps all over the place. Then it runs to the bar tender and gives him a blow job. After the bar tender cleaned up the mess he started to hand the bat to the blond. He said," you want to give it a try."

The blond looks at him and goes," Ok just don't hit me to hard!"

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