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bloke jokes

Category bloke jokes
Subcategory odds and ends

Years ago I had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune.

The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket. He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived.

As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backwards and said, "You can't touch those babies. You aren't sterile!!"

Without missing a beat, and with a big smile, the husband boasted, "You betcha I'm not!"

Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's incredible."

The second guy says, "That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm God."

"She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?"

"Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me."

What's the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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