The Open Toe Shoe Pledge
Alright Ladies, it's that time of the year again. Just a friendly reminder!!
Please raise your big toes and repeat after me: (The Open Toed Shoe
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules
when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over
and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the
sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker,
mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes
if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into
place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend
Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low
price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids'
sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others.
No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would
hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell
and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
If I have been privy to the magic that is Foot Soup, I will share that
knowledge and experience with the non-initiated.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she
asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell
her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy
feet look good.
I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually
flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear
NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
I will promise to go my local beauty school at least once per season
and have a real pedicure (they are about $10 and worth EVERY penny).
I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs
of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals... Don't keep
this to yourself - pass it on to other sisters.