ࡱ> ܥhW e" " Β VؒƓƓƓƓƓƓƓ]eLLSXWƓƓƓƓƓƓؒƓ@ƓƓ`JNcƓThe US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov.It's anotherattempt at scare mongering in the style of theold "duck and cover" advice after WWII. The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_dont_run.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  If you have set yourself on fire, do not run INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_shout.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_open_door.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_substance.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_wash.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_area.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  Hurricanes, animal corpses and your potential new tattoo have a lot in common. Think about it. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_closed_door.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  If a door is closed, karate chop it open. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_rad_time.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/nuc_vis_building.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_high_windows.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  If you've becomea radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_resp.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_drop_roll.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it. INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_wire.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET  Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood. /=h&l:  55   &_FMRIB #&<_FMRFS3 P0 H# <8$#"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   &l:  55   &_FMRIB #&<_FMRFS3 P0 H#