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odds and sods

Category odds & sods
Subcategory Little Jonny Jokes

Horsie Ride!

Little Johnny was passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeked in and caught his folks in The Act.

Before his dad could even react, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Relieved that Johnny was not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, Daddy agreed.

Johnny hopped on and Daddy started going to town. Pretty soon Mommy started moaning and gasping.

Johnny cried out, "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his penis in preparation for sex with his wife.

Johnny's father, in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it, bent over as if to look under the bed.

Little Johnny asked curiously ‘What ya doin dad?’ His father quickly replied,

‘I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed.’

To which Little Johnny replied ‘What ya gonna do, screw him?’

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ‘Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?’

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ‘God Almighty!’ shouted Mary and the teacher said, ‘Very good,’ and Mary fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ‘Who is our Lord and Savior?’ But, Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ‘Jesus Christ!’ shouted Mary and the teacher said, ‘Very good,’ and Mary fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. ‘What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?’ And again, Johnny Jabbed her with the pin.

This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ‘If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!’

The Teacher fainted.

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.

But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there."

"No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet when he gets to the poisons."

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