Naughty Limericks

There was a young lady from Leith,
Who would circumcise men with her teeth,
It wasn't for fame, Or love of the game
But to get at the cheese underneath.

There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
The Bishop was quicker, and thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.

There was a young vampire called mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.

There was a young plumber from Lee,
who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
she said stop your plumbing,
I think someone's coming, said the plumber still plumbing "its me"!

A kinky young girl from Bexhill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina, in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.

There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said look you've cum, all over my bum,
This isn't a shag it's a mockery.

There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short 'en,
on top of all that, a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.

There was a young girl called Molly,
who fancied a bit in a quarry.
She laid on her back, and opened her crack.
And the bastard backed in with a lorry.

There was a young man from Harrow,
who had one as big as a marrow.
He said to his tart, try this for a start.
My balls are outside on a barrow.

There was a young girl from Hitchen,
who was scratching her crutch in the kitchen.
Her mother said "Rose, its crabs I suppose".
She said "bollocks, get on with your knitting"

There was a young girl from Devizes,
who had tits of different sizes.
One was quite small, almost nothing at all.
But the other was big and won prizes.