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Vaseline
Roger is buying his cousin's used motorcycle. He says,
"My God, it's so shiny! It's like new! What's your secret?"
His cousin says, "Well, any time it's about to rain, I coat
the chrome with some Vaseline so it won't tarnish. In fact, I won't be
needing this any longer, take my pot."
Roger and his girlfriend are going to her parents' house
for dinner for the first time, so he goes to pick her up on the motorcycle.
As she's getting on the bike behind him, she says, "Listen, I have to
tell you something. My family's a little strange. You can't talk during
dinner. If you talk during dinner, you have to do the dishes.
" When they walk into her parents' house, not only in the
kitchen, but in the dining room, the living room, on the stairs, the back
porch, everywhere, there are piles and piles of dirty dishes. They haven't
done the dishes in months.
They sit down to eat, and the whole meal, nobody talks.
It's the end of the meal, Roger is getting a little horny, and he figures
nobody is going to say anything, so he grabs his girlfriend, and pops!
her right there on the dining room table.
Nobody says nothing. He's still a little horny, and her
mother is kind of cute, so he figures, "What the hell?" He throws her
mother up on the table and starts to do her. He's just about done with
her, when he looks out the window and sees it's starting to rain on his
motorcycle.
He reaches into his pocket and takes out the tube of Vaseline.
Her father jumps up and says, "All right, all right, I'll do the fucking
dishes."
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