More sexist stuff (1)
This is for men tired of receiving male bashing jokes
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundrette a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . . .."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is
yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,
Suffering. Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the
TV?" I said, "Dust!" In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither
God nor Man has rested.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo
Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at
him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower." Young Son: "Is it true,
Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife
until he marries her?" Dad: That happens in every country, son. A man
inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The next day
he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine." The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is
to forget it once. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they
are beautiful
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